Hey you. Yeah you. How many birthdays did you have? And by birthdays, I mean days that you were actually born. Your mother gave birthday to you on one day, correct? On your birth certificate it says the time and date. The DATE, not DATES, right? So why the fuck do you girls think it is necessary to celebrate a birthday for nine fuckin days straight?
It's getting really annoying when girls spread word about their "Birthday Weekend", or "Birthday Week". I even know one girl in college who wanted to celebrate her "Birthday Month". It's starting to get carried away. What's next, your "Birthday Year."?
"Hey guys I have a birthday this year!!! Lets go celebrate!!! OMG i luvss my girls, they are the best ever!!"
Do you know what guys do when it's their birthday? They go out with their guy friends the day before their birthday, and when the clock strikes midnight, the celebration is on until last call. Guys get to celebrate their birthday for an hour or two, tops. And do you want to know why? Because guys understand that a birthday is not a big fuckin deal. We don't expect to be treated special, or given anything we want just because its the anniversary of the day we were born. And we damn sure don't expect the special treatment for days or weeks on-end. That's just ludicrous, why would you want to make such a spectacle out of yourself that you would want friends and family bending over backwards for you for an extended period of time? Thats just selfish. If anybody has the right to celebrate your birthday, it's your mother for suffering through your 9 hour labor you ungrateful bitches.
There is only one exception. The 21st birthday. That is the only day that your birthday can extend beyond one day, because it is the rightful passage into adulthood. And the bar scene. But anything before or after that, get off your high horse and have a little bit of pride. Not everybody needs to celebrate your birthday, because frankly, nobody really cares about you that much. Don't put that stupid sashe on that tells everybody it's your birthday, and definitely don't wear a crown. You're not playing dress up or pretty pretty princess, you just get made fun of. Trust me. I do it and so does every other guy I know.
Oh and that guy? The one buying you drinks and telling you that you look so beautiful on your birthday? He's trying to have sex with you, not admiring your crown. He's not trying to show you how nice of a guy he is, he's telling his friends, "Hey that birthday girl looks really drunk, I bet if I go buy her some drinks I can seal the deal."
Sorry creepy guys for ruining your game plan.
Girls, grow up.
No comments:
Post a Comment